It's Hockey Time – GO LEAFS!

I went out for lunch today with my friend/co-worker to Monfort. We haven’t gone out for lunch in quite awhile. Mostly becos I couldn’t afford it. It was nice to get out with her and catch up on things. She is missing her mother very much as you can imagine and has her good days and bad days. We try to get her laughing as much as possible. I still feel so badly for her.

We weren’t too busy today even though we were a girl short. I am still finding it hard to get back into the swing of things. I’m sure next week things will be back to normal.

After we came back to lunch I started to get a headache and it got worse during the day. I think it was becos of the weather as it started to rain late afternoon and it is still raining. It has turned into a migraine like headache and I feel very crappy. I have taken Advil extra strength before dinner but when it is this bad nothing helps. Hopefully a good night sleep will help.

D was workig late tonight. He walked by our group on his way out and stopped by. We talked for a bit and he asked me if I was going to be here tomorrow. I said “Yes, unfortunately.” We both grinned. I asked him if he was going to be and he said “Yes, I plan to be.” I know he has a couple of meetings in the afternoon and one is off site so I’m sure he will be leaving early.

Then we talked about Florida and I said. “I will put my pictures on Facebook so you can see them.” He said ‘Ya, I got your invite. I didn’t even know how to sign on.” I said “You don’t use it?” He said “I don’t know how long I have had it.” He didn’t seem mad at all that and he didn’t even ask me how I found him. So I was relieved! I told him I had about 400 pictures to go through and I will put them up on the weekend. I’m sure he doesn’t know much about Facebook so it will probably take him awhile to get the hang of it. I just saw him on Facebook earlier tonight. I wish I could of messaged him but I don’t think he would like that. He was on for awhile too. I don’t know doing what becos nothing on his page has changed. He could of been snooping around mine though, couldn’t he? I was so happy he came by to talk to me!

Well, it’s late and I’m off to bed. I need a good night sleep!

I can’t believe it! I am in absolute shock! When I check my email tonight I got a confirmation email saying that D accepted my Friend request on Facebook! I just about fainted! I swear my jaw dropped to the floor and I just about died!!! I never thought he would add me. I thought he would ignore me or maybe even block me. I just can’t believe it!!! I’m in shock!!! Can you imagine if he ever asked me out on a date how I would be? LOL!

Now I have to be very careful what I say in my status. I am his second friend that he has added. I looked at his other friend and the person he added first is the creator of the sailing group he joined. It will be interesting to see if he adds anybody else from work as half of the people on my contact list are my friends from work.

I still have mixed feelings about adding him. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea or not. It will be interesting to see if he says anything about it tomorrow. I’m not quite sure what I’m going to say to him. He is probably wondering how I got his email address becos when you type in his name, there are alot that come up and I mean alot. I will just say that I narrowed it down. Hopefully he will start using his since he added me. I guess he has looked all over my account. I should of deleted our picture, the one that was taken at the Christmas dance but I guess it is too late now. He has probably already seen it. He doesn’t have much on his. The only Info he has on his is his birthdate and there is no picture. I didn’t think there would be but he is probably just getting started. OMG, I still can’t believe it! I am getting so close, aren’t I?

I had my mammogram test and bone density test done at the hospital this morning. They didn’t take long at all. They were no big deal but I sure didn’t like the mammogram test. It hurt! Ouch! I was very uncomfortable and nervous. I was really glad when it was over. Now I just have to wait for the results. I am not really worried about the mammogram but I am a little worried about the bone density results.

Today is J’s 19th birthday! I am so very proud of him! He really is a wonderul son and a great kid! We went to see our IT guy after school as he is leaving for Nova Scotia to live with his dad for a year. We will keep in touch of course and he will be home in July for a few weeks. If I have any computer problems he will still be able to fix them via his remote program. It is pretty cool! He gave J a birthday card and put $20.00 inside it which J thought was great! We sure will miss him. After our visit we went to Swiss Chalet and had a nice dinner. J had a really nice birthday!

It sure will be interesting tomorrow to see if D says anything. Wish me luck! I sure am going to need it!

You will never guess what I did? You know I have D’s home email address right? Well, I was on facebook last night and there is a spot where it says Sponsered on the right hand side of the home page. Underneath there is a place where you can enter the person’s email address who you want to find. I thought I would type in D’s email address and see what I could find. Well, it said “This person is already on Facebook, we have sent a friend request for you.” I just about died! I was freaken out! I didn’t want to do that at all becos I don’t want him to know that I know his home email address.

I called our IT guy right away to see if there was anyway I could delete the request. He wasn’t home but he called me back later. I was stewing all night. He said there was no way I could delete the request. D will see Friend request email from me. So basically, I am busted, I am screwed!

When I entered his email address in that section a message should of come up that said “Are you
sure you want to add this person as a friend?” it should of given me the option not just automatically added him. I am so pissed off you have no idea! Of course this would only happen to me!

As I expected D never replied to the email I sent him yesterday. I sent him the link to where we stayed in Daytona. You think he would at least say something like Thanks for sending it to me. But I think becos I mentioned Facebook he never responded.

My friend and I were coming back from the washroom just before lunch and we passed by him in the hall. He looked at me and gave me a nice smile and a nodd. I wonder if he saw the Friend request. If and when he does I am sure he won’t say anything to me. Or maybe he might.

To kind of cover my ass, I was thinking maybe I should send him an email saying “I put the pictures up on Facebook and I added you as a Friend so you can see them if you’d like.” What do you guys think? Or should I not bother saying anything at all? I wish I never did that!

I have the day off tomorrow, I am taking it as a personal day as I have a couple of test to do at the hospital. I have a Bone density test and a Mammogram test in the morning. I am not worried about the mammorgram test but I am a little worried about the bone density test.

It is J’s birthday tomorrow! He is turning 19 years old! I can’t believe my baby is 19! We are having our computer friend over tomorrow after school for a couple of hours and then when we drive him home we may go out to dinner to celebrate J’s birthday. My aunt and I already bought him a digital camera (which he loves!) for his birthday so he isn’t getting much more. I can’t believe he is 19 years old! Where does the time go?

I got a really nice welcome back this morning from my co-workers. As soon as I walked in my group everyone came over to see me. I hadn’t even taken my coat off and they all came right over. I think they really missed me! They couldn’t get over what a great tan I have and they wanted to hear all about my trip. Even my boss and manager missed me! Of course, I told them how much I didn’t want to come back! LOL!

I think even D missed me! I saw him walk by twice this morning and he looked in but there were people over talking to me so he couldn’t see me. At lunch D came in the kitchen. I was in there eating with two other co-workers. He was carrying a folder and in this folder was a piece of paper. I tried to act like I wasn’t surprised to see him. On his way over to me, the piece of paper fell out of the folder. I think his nerves was getting to him! LOL! He came over to me and said “Hi Pam, I have a present for you.” and he handed me the folder. I should of said, “You got me some flowers?” LOL! We are having a blue jeans/bake sale day and you were suppose to check off which one you wanted to participate in. So I checked off that I would wear my jeans. I asked anyone for a pen and he had one so he gave me his. He told me to give the folder to one of the other names on the list. He said to me “It looks like you got some sun.” I said “Ya” He said “Florida?” I said “Yup.” and he walked away.

I looked at the other two girls in the kitchen and I said that there were 4 other names on the list that he could of given the folder too. But he chose to give it to me and to actually come in the kitchen when he new I was in there eating lunch. And he said “I have a present for you.” I said to the girls. “Don’t you think that was weird?” They both agreed with me. Here I am trying to forget about him becos I know nothing is going to happen and he does something like this. WTF!

Then later on in the afternoon I came out of my group to go down the hall and I practically bumped right into D. We went in the kitchen together to make tea. He didn’t think there was enough water for the two of us so I said “You go ahead.” but he poured my water first into my mug and then his. He said to me “Are you glad to be back?” I said “No, not at all.” I should of said “Yes becos I was missing you too much!” LOL! Then we talked about Florida for awhile. His parents used to go to Daytona Beach so he was interested. I said to him “I will send you the link if you like.” and he said “I wouldn’t mind seeing it.”

I sent him the link and I said “I will be putting all of my pictures on Facebook so if you are on it you wlll be able to see them.” He hasn’t replied back yet as it was later in the afternoon when I sent it. I’m not so sure he will reply at all but we will see if he does.

So as you can see, I think D really missed me. It will be very interesting to see what happens next. But if nothing happens then that’s it. I will definately be trying to forget about him.

So other than that, I had an easy day. I was very grateful we weren’t too busy becos I couldn’t concentrate. I am still in beach mode and probably will be for awhile! LOL!

I’m back! I landed about 4:30 yesterday afternoon. I didn’t want to leave, I had such a wonderful trip! The weather was gorgeous! It was in the 80’s the whole time and we only had two days of rain. I got a really nice tan!

I saw everyone that I saw two years ago at our motel. I was especially hoping to see our friends from Atlanta and we did so it was really nice to see them and fun! We exchanged email addresses and I even added her to Facebook! All I did basically was lie in the sun all afternoon by the pool everyday and went for a walk on the beach. We met and talked to a lot of interesting people from all over the States and Canada. It was fun!

We went out for dinner a few times and had seafood. It was delicious! I took a lot of pictures that I have to go through. I will upload when I have the time.

I waited anxiously for J to come home tonight from Phoenix with his Dad. There plane arrived 1 1/2 late so I was getting worried. J had a great trip and was able to spend all day on Friday with his Uncle! I was very happy they were able to see each other after 10 years!

I have some stories that I can tell you but I am too tired right now. Today I did a couple of loads of laundry. I went through all my mail and I did the groceries.

It’s going to be so hard getting back into the old routine. I absolutely do not want to go to work tomorrow. Not even to see D if you can believe it! I thought about him while I was away but not nearly as much as last time.

I am anxious to see my friend who lost her mother a couple of weeks ago. I called her today to see how she was doing and she said she was doing ok. I have missed her.

I will write more about my trip later. How is everyone? I have missed you all!

When I got to work this morning I didn’t see D’s car in the parking lot. I thought… Hmmm, maybe he is actually sick and is taking a sick day today. I didn’t see him sitting at his desk when I walked in and his computer wasn’t turned on. When I went to put my lunch bag in the fridge a couple of co-workers asked how the funeral was and how my friend was doing. Then D walked right in to make a cup ot tea. I think he came in late this morning. I’m wondering if he saw me go in the kitchen and he was probably hoping to talk to me.

But I didn’t talk to him, I ignored him. My co-workers and I walked out of the kitchen still talking together. About 20 minutes later D walked right by out group, he tuned around (as if to walk by unpurpose) and he stopped and said “Did you get my message?” I nodded and said “Yes I did.” He said “I guess it was a little late?” I said “No, I got it.” He said “Ya, I really wasn’t feeling well, all weekend actually.” I said “I got your email too.” He said “Oh ya.” He never asked about the funeral or how my friend was doing. We just smiled and he left.

At the end of the day, he walked by and I got a nice wave and smile. That surprised me and made me happy!

Last week V came up to me and said he wanted to take me out for lunch for Indian food. We are going tomorrow. No, he didn’t ask D to come with us, he asked our receptionist. I don’t know if D is coming or if he even invited him. I’m not even going to ask. I am looking forward to it.

J was out tonight at the ACC for the Blue Jays baseball home opener. He was really excited about going with his friend. You sure wouldn’t think it is spring out there. There is a dusting of snow on the ground and it is cold!

I’m busy getting ready for Florida. I have washed and iron all my summer stuff and yes they still fit me! We leave Friday morning. Only 4 more days!

My friends mother’s viewing was Friday night. A friend/co-worker picked me up along with a couple of others. I knew as soon as I saw my friend I would start crying and I was right. I couldn’t help it, the tears just came. My friend is doing really well considering. She is being really strong but I know she is aching inside.

I had to cover lunch reception Firday afternoon. I was really surprised when D came up to me and asked how my friend was doing. I said “Not good.” I told him all about her mother’s illness and he seemed quite interested. He said “There seemes to be alot of people going tonight. I guess they won’t mind if I don’t come.” I said “Well, it would be nice for you to go for them.” I told him A (the young guy) is going and he said he would talk to him. Which he did.

Our receptionist actually told me he was going and that really surprised me. There were a couple of cards that were sent around so when they came to me I signed them and then I went over to D for him to sign. He said “I don’t know what to say.” I said “I never do either.” He said ‘Actually, I am going, so I don’t think I will sign them.” I was really surprised by this. He should of signed them anyway. He always signs the cards that goes around, I don’t know why he acted this way. I said OK and I walked away.

Shortly after 4 pm. A (the young guy) came over to me about Friday night. Then D came over. He asked A if he was going and then he asked me if I was going. A left and it was just us talking. He said “I feel kind of crappy, I think it was something I ate for lunch.” I asked him what he had for lunch and he kind of paused for a bit and I said “A pita thing?” and he said “Yes.” We talked for a bit longer about stuff and he left.

As soon as he said he wasn’t feeling well, I knew he wasn’t coming. It was a cop out. Shortly after 5 pm. I went to the washroom and when I came back I noticed a message on my machine. I thought, that’s strange who is calling me on a Friday night? I listened to my message and you will never guess who it was. Yes, it was D!!! He said “Hi Pam, it’s D. I guess I missed you. I won’t be able to make it as I am staring to feel really sick. But please pass on my condolences.” I was right!

I went over to A (the young guy) and told him I got a message from D saying he wasn’t coming and that I was right. I said to A that telling us he is sick is just an excuse for him not to go. Of course A didn’t agree with me and we had a big arguement. A said that he didn’t think D looked to good when he was talking to him earlier.

When I got D’s message, I didn’t know what to do. By the way, I could tell he was driving and calling from his cell phone. I didn’t know if I should call him back or not. About 20 mintues later I got an email from him. It was the same email A got from him. D just forwarded the same email to me.

I don’t know what to think about all of this. I am pretty sure I’m right that it was a cop out and he really wasn’t feeling sick. I am mad at him for not wanting to go. But then he did call me and he left a message and he even emailed me. Of course, the only time he calls me and I am away from my desk. I know if I talked to him on the phone I would of been more sympathetic to him. He will probably ask me tomorrow if I got his message. I feel like saying to him “Yes, I didn’t think you would go.” What do you guys think? Am I being to hard on D? Should I give him some credit becos he called and emailed me? He really didn’t have to call me. He could of just not shown up at all.

The funeral was really nice but so very sad. I am so upset for the family and I still can’t believe my friends mother is gone. It happened way too fast. There must of been about 200 people at the service. It was packed. My friends sister spoke about her mother and it was so nice. 3 of the grand children spoke as well. The speeches were all beautifully written and of course they brought tears to my eyes. They made a DVD of her mother and it was beautiful and they played her favorite song.

After the funeral there was a reception and where they served sandwhiches, veggies and fruit. We talked for hours with family and co-workers. My friend who picked me up had to leave right away so my friend (the one who’s mother the funeral was for) and her husband drove me home.

The family was cleaning up at the end and becos there were so many bouquets of flowers they gave me one to take home. I couldn’t believe it! It is beautiful!

Well, I have more to say but it is late and I am off to bed. I will write more later. There are a couple of other stores I could write about. D has been coming over to me a couple of times this past week being friendly. So what do you guys think about all of this? Would you of called him back or emailed him back? Or would you of played it cool like I did? I hope everyone had a good weekend!

It has been an very emotional week with my friends mother passing away. Everyone is coming up to me and wanting to know how our friend/co-worker is doing. She and her family is just devasted which is of course to be expected. But pretty well everyone asking me brings me to tears. I get all choked up and then the tears come. I can’t help it. That’s just the way I am.

I have called her every night to see how she is doing and to let her know I am thinking of her. We were talking about the funeral and she said “You will be there?” I said “Oh yes, I will.” It was the way she said it that made me start crying.

V has come up to me every day asking me how she is doing and how I am. Of course not a word from D. I was getting so pissed off at him for not even saying a word about it. I was talking to our receptionist yesterday and he was asking her questions about her mother. Now, why wouldn’t he ask me? He knows how close we are! He is asking our receptionist and she is the one that gets her information from me! She told me that he said he didn’t even know she was sick. I was thinking you know, if he starting coming around asking people how they are maybe he would start finding out things just like V does. But I know that isn’t the way D is. She also told me that he is coming to the funeral! This really surprises me! I couldn’t believe it when she said that. She did say he met her at the Stag and Doe a couple of years ago. This is the Stag and Doe where my friend said to him “I don’tunderstand why you don’t ask Pam out.” and he said “I don’t want to start anything I know I can’t finish.” I am wondering if he was thinking of that when he was mentioning it.

There is a viewing Friday night and the funeral is Saturday at 11 am. I asked our receptionist if he is going to the viewing or funeral and she said one or the other. I have a feeling he is going to the viewing tomorrow night. I will be very surprised he if comes to the funeral.

There are quite a few from the office going. I am sure my friend wll be very surprised. There are even some managers going and our Boss is going. I know as soon as I see her I will start crying. She has a wonderful family and it will be very hard seeing them all.

Today was very hard for me. 34 years ago today, my father was killed in a tragic car accident. Some of my regular readers may remember this. I was only 16 years old. I hate this day. Even though it has been 34 years it still seems like yesterday to me. I love you Daddy and I miss you so much!

Also, one year ago today J was admitted into the hospital with Septicemia! It was very scary and I just can’t believe it happened to him! Thank god he is alright now. Why does everything happen on April 2nd?

At lunch time, V came up to me today and I was having one of my moments. I was thinking about my father and I was getting all choked up. He looked at me and new something was wrong. He thought it was work but I said it was personal and I really couldn’t tell him. He was very worried about me but I said I was OK.

I think I heard him say to D that they were going out for a walk at lunch time. My co-worker who sits beside me had to cover lunch reception and apparently V asked her why I was so upset. She told him it was the anniversary of my fathers death and I was just having a bad day. V came around again and talked to me about it so I knew she told him. I thought it was very nice of him to do that. Of course I am thinking why couldn’t it be D?

So here I am getting all pissed off becos D still hadn’t come up to me and talked to me about my friends mother or anything. Late in the day I was wondering if D had left. I didn’t want to walk down the hall past his desk becos I didn’t want him to see me. I had a feeling he was still there. Then I heard a bit of ruckus coming from his area like he was rattling paper and putting books down loudly on his desk. It was almost like he was wanting me to come over and see that he is still there. It was pretty late too so I was surprised.

A little while later he came by and said “Hi Pam, working late?” I said ‘I am always here this time.” He mentioned the Leafs being out of the playoffs and we talked about that for awhile. A couple of co-workers came up to me offering there condolences and my TML flag is at half mass. Our accounting manager said that she was thinking of me last night and thought it was the right time to give me soemthing… which was a TML puck but it is milk chocolate which she knows is my favorite! I thought that was so nice of her! I said to D “Usually people give you flowers but I chocolate is better.” LOL! He laughed too. D said that she showed him the puck. I said “Did she tell you it was for me?” and he said “Yes.” That surprised me too! We talked for a few more minutes but it was only about hockey.

There was nothing mentioned about my friends mother. I just don’t understand him. I guess he has a hard time showing his emotions but then why does he talk to our receptionist about it who gets the information from me anyway?

So even though there was no mention of my friends mother he sure did brighten my day! He made me feel a lot better. But you know if he wasn’t working late I’m sure he wouldn’t of come by to talk to me. I guess I shouldn’t be so hard on him. I think V and D were probably talking about me when they went out for there walk and that’s why D came by. And he is coming to the funeral so I guess I should give him a break. Let’s see if he comes up to me and talked to me then.

I sure am not looking forward to the viewing or the funeral. Every funeral I go to I think of my father and the tears just come. I hope I can control them this time. I think it is just wonderful that so many from our office is going to support my friend. I know she will be so surprised! I will be glad when it is all over. It’s going to be so hard!