It's Hockey Time – GO LEAFS!

Yesterday was my Dr.’s appt to get the results of my biopsy on my breast.  I was a nervous reck all week!  I was so worried my stomach was upset.  My mother wanted to come with me for support.  I didn’t really want her to come with me, I would of rather gone alone but it was nice she was there for me.

I didn’t know this but apparently she has been so worried about me all week.  She has high blood pressure and is on medication for it.  Her nerves were so bad that she went to the Dr. to talk about me and get some valium!  The Dr. told her “If it is cancer it will be caught very early so she will have a lumpectomy and she will be fine!”  The Dr. gave her some valium to calm her down.  She could of had a stroke becos her blood pressure is so high!

We got to the Dr.’s office and I sat there and I was scared to death.  I didn’t have to wait too long luckily.  The Dr. called my name and we went in.  I don’t think we even sat down in the chair and the he said right away “I have good news your biopsy test is benign!”  I was so relieved and poor Mom was absolutely thrilled!  She kept saying “Oh thank God I was so worried!”  She must of said that a half of dozen times!  I almost said “Ok Mom, shut up!”  Enough already, calm down.  This is one of th reasons why I wanted to go alone!

I was so relieved myself and so happy!  If it was cancer, I’d don’t know what I’d do.  I would probably do alot of crying for one thing!  We talked to the Dr. for a few minutes and he wanted to do an examination on me.   Don’t ask me why he did becos he got the results already.  He explained everything to us and he said he was very pleased with everything.  I was so happy to see my mother calm right down!

We left the Dr.’s office and I was shaking!  It was the not knowing for a whole week, it was agony!  I didn’t go back to work, I went home and I drove J to work.  When I came back home, I made myself a cup of tea.  I layed down on the couch and watched my show (General Hospital) and had a little nap.  I am very emotionally drained!

The phone rang a few times last night.  Friends were calling me to find out the news.  Thank goodness I was able to tell them I was fine!  It was nice to hear from them.

We have been so swamped all week.  We haven’t even taken lunch.  Except my friend/co-worker and I went to McDonalds.  I had a bacon, cheese burger.  It was good and it was really nice to get out of the office.

It’s the long weekend here in Canada!  Monday is a holiday and we get 3 days off!  I am really looking forward to sleeping in all 3 days but I have new neighbors and they have hired a contractor.  He has been waking me up at 7:30 am every friggen morning hammering and drilling!  This has been going on for 3 weeks now!  WTF!!!!  I will be so pissed off if they wake me!

I’m off to bed, it’s late and I’m exhausted.  I hope everyone has a good weekend 

Tomorrow is the day I get the results from my biospy and I am scared!  I have never been so scared but I am trying to remain calm and think positive.  I’m trying not to show it.

Mom is going to come with me for support although I think I would rather go alone.  She insists on coming.  I am leaving the office early.  My appt is at 2:30 and I will not be going back.  I will not be making up the time either.  We are so swamped that we haven’t even been taking our lunch.  We have just been sitting at our desks eating and staying late.  This will probably continue all summer.

I saw D at the photocopier yesterday.  It was the first time I had a chance to talk to him since he came back from his holidays.  I said “So were you watching alot of TV?”  He said “A bit.  I was watching Oprah.  It’s about the best thing on and Judge Judy.”  Then he laughed.  I looked at him as if to say “You’ve got to be kidding me!”  I just looked at him like that and walked away and he was laughing.

I don’t know if he was serious or pulling my leg again.  I just can’t see him staying home watching Oprah and Judge Judy for god’s sake!  He didn’t even tell me he went sailing.  So the more I thought about it the more I got pissed off!  Becos I don’t believe he was telling me the truth.  I am sure he would be watching the Tour de France bicycle race or the Canadian Open which was on all week.  Then I thought…  Enless he was at his neighbors and she was watching it!  See what crazy things run through my mind?  Why wouldn’t he be honest with me and tell me what he was really watching on TV and that he went sailing for a couple of days?  He really pissed me off!

Mind you, I could be all wrong about this.  Maybe he is telling me the truth and maybe he did watch Oprah and Judge Judy but I really don’t think so.  The more I thought about it, the more upset I got.  He is so frustrating!

It was my turn to cover lunch reception today.  As soon as I sat down I saw him come by.  Instead of going through the doors straight ahead he came around and waved at me and went out the doors closest to me.  The phone rang so I answered it as he walked by so I couldn’t talk to him.  I was really susrprised he came by!  I know he just wanted to see if I was at the front becos he could of gone out the back way.  And he even could of gone out the doors straight ahead.  That made my day!    I was waiting for him to come back but he never did.  I just which he would come up and talk to me.  I really don’t know why he doesn’t.

Well, it’s late and I’m  off to bed.  I’m going to be a nervous reck tomorrow but I will be so happy when and if I get good news! 

I have been meaning to post about my biopsy but I have just been too tired.  Let me tell you, it was awful!  I arrived 10 minutes early only for the nurse to say that they were behind and haven’t even had lunch yet so I was to wait another 45 minutes.  When I went to my Dr last I complained about my back being so soar and that I thought I could have arthritis in my back as I have it in both hips.  He gave me a requisition so when I got to the Exray dept. and registered I gave her my req.  I was able to have that done first before my biopsy.

It wasn’t much longer after that they called me in for my biopsy.  The technician had me sit in the chair and explained what would be happening to me.  She wheeled me over to the mammogram machine and positioned me right infront of it.  She placed my right breast in between the plastic plates and applied pressure.  It wasn’t as much pressure as the last time.  At least this time I could tolerate it.

She told me I had to sit absolutely still for 20 – 30 minutes or it would be ruined and we would have to start all over again.  The needle came down from the machine into my breast and freezed the area.  The Dr. came in and he said that I would hear and feel 5 clicks which is to remove tissue for the biopsy.  It was as loud or louder than a staple gun.  I couldn’t see them working on me as my head was positioned the opposite way.  I sat absolutely still for 20 minutes, believe me! 

After the 5 clicks were over the Dr. told me, if it is cancer, I will need to have a Lumpectomy.  Becos the spot is so small and so hard to see, they inserted a small piece of wire in my breast at the exact spot so it will be easier for them to find if they have to go back in.  The piece of wire is the breast cancer logo.  It is smaller than a staple and it won’t bother me in anyway and it will stay in me forever.  I’m not liking the fact that it is in there but there isn’t anything I can do about it. 

I was so glad when it was all over!  The nurse pushed back the chair that made into a bed and cleaned up the area and put adhesive stripes on it and a big piece of gauze that covered half of my breast.  It was really soar and uncomfortable.  I couldn’t remove the gauze until the next day and I still have the adhesive stripes on.  It is still a little soar and uncomfortable and I guess it will be for awhile.

I have an appt to see a breast specialist Thursday afternoon to get the results.  I am praying everything will be fine.  If it is cancer, I just don’t know what I’m going to do!  I have been so upset about this and have been sitting on pins and needles but I am trying to be positive about it that everything I will be fine.  I have never been so scared!

This weekend has been very quiet.  J went up north with his Dad for the weekend to his dad’s boat.  He came home about lunch time this afternoon and he had a great time despite all the rain.  It was just the two of them and J was happy to have alone time with his father!

I rented a movie called New in Town last night.  It is a romantic comedy and it was really good and funny!  It made me laugh!  Today I did the usual laundry and I did some ironing.  I swifted all of my floors and tidied up the house.

The Canadian Open has been on all week here in Oakville and the weather has been so lousy.  It has been raining here almost every day so the golfers have had some rain delays.  I have been watching it on and off all weekend.  It’s very cool as the golf course is not too far from our house!

Mom didn’t come over tonight for dinner as J went out with his friends to a pay per view wrestling show.  J hadn’t been home long from being up north and he has already gone out!  Geesh, it seems I hardly ever see him these days! 

Tomorrow is Monday already.  I’m not looking forward to this week at all.  We are so busy.  At least I get to see D!  He is back form holidays and I hope I get to find out what he was doing!  I will be very happy to see him becos I have been going through D withdrawal badly!  LOL!  I hope everyone had a good weekend! 

Well, I’m glad my colonoscopy is over and done with.  It sure wasn’t pleasant!  The proceedure itself wasn’t bad.  I didn’t feel a thing as I was sedated.  When I woke up  in the recovery room the Dr. told me they didn’t find anything.  So that is good news!  I was so tired when I woke up!  Mom drove me home (we got home about 4:00 pm) and I walked over to the couch and literally flopped on it!  I slept from 4 – 8:00 pm!  I couldn’t believe it!  I got up and my Aunt called to see how I was doing.  I told her about it and then I said I was going to eat some dinner and make myself a cup of tea.  Well, I still felt so tired that I went back to the couch and slept for another couple of hours!

J was out at the ball game with his friends.  I woke up and felt a little better.  J got home about 11;30 pm.  We talked for about 1/2 an hour and then I went to bed.  I was still feeling kind of crappy on Saturday.  My stomach of course was all of gas and I couldn’t really eat anything.  My appetite wasn’t good.  I think the medication I had to take upset my stomach.

I managed to eat my cereal and had a cup of tea.  Later on in the afternoon I went to the mall and had my hair highlighted.  After that I went shopping for a pair of pants.  I need black dress pants for work and navy blue regular pants.  I couldn’t find black dress pants anywhere but I did manage to get navy blue pants.  So I was happy about that.

My mother drove J to work as J worked earlier than usual and I was still at the hair dressers.  I went to Rogers on the way home and I rented Sex and the City.  It was a good movie!  I really enjoyed it!  When I got home I felt better but I still had a bit of trouble eating my pizza.  It didn’t sit too well but I ate it.

I am finally feeling better today and my appetite is back.  I’m really glad it is over with and thank goodness they didn’t see anything! 

I was rudely woken up by my new neighbors this morning.  They hired a contractor and he has been hammering and drilling all friggen week!  He woke me up at 10:00 am this morning!  That may not be early to some people but it sure is to me, especially on a Sunday!  Grrrr!  They better finish soon, it’s driving me crazy!

I did two loads of laundry and tidied up the house.  J’s friend came over for dinner.  We barbequed hambegers tonight and had caeser salade and potatoe salade.  I love hambegers!  After dinner the boys walked down to Mason’s house!  They were hoping he would be outside as they didn’t want to knock on the door.  Just as they walked by the front Steve came out the front door with a couple of friends.  J’s friend said “Hi Steve, could we get an autograph!”  Of course Mason didn’t mind at all.  J said he seemed happy to see them and he was smiling the whole time!  The boys congratulated him on winning the Calder trohpy.  J of course told him that he lives just up the street.  Mason said “Oh, that’s pretty cool!”  They talked for a few minutes and he signed his autograph.  The boys were thrilled!

Mom and I were on the front lawn watching the boys walk home and I could see Mason playing croquet on the front lawn with his friends.  The boys came back all smiles, showed us his autograph and told us the whole conversation.  J was shaking, he was so excited!  LOL!  Finally he met him!  Now he wants to go back next time and get his picture taken with him wearing a Columbus Blue Jacket jersey with the #1 on it!  I’m so glad he got to meet him!  He is absolutely thrilled! 

J and his friend went back friends house to watch a wrestling show.  So J has had a good weekend!  It’s Monday already again.  I’m not looking forward to this week as Wednesday I have my biopsy done on my right breast and D is off on holidays.    Oh well, hopefully this week will go by quickly! 

Tomorrow I have to have a colonoscopy.  I am so not looking forward to it.  I have taken the medication and have only had consumme soup for dinner.  I have to drink Gaterade and I have some jello I can eat.  My appt is for 1:30 in the afternoon and I can’t eat anything all night or morning.  This is the first time I have had one so I am kind of worried about it.  My mother will be there with me for support.  I will be so glad when it is over!

On Wednesday I have to have a biopsy done on my right breast.  I went for a mammogram awhile ago and they saw something and called me back.  What they saw was micro-califications which is calcium build up or it could be the signs of early breast cancer.  So a biopsy is requested.  Of course I am freaking out about this!  I am a nervous wreck actually!  I am just hoping and praying it is just calcium build up.  I will probably take the day off work for that too as I’m sure I won’t be able to concentrate at all.  I have a Dr.’s appt the following week to get the results.  I will be even more of a wreck then!  I just need to get by these next two weeks and then I will be able to relax.

I had a very interesting conversation with D today at the photocopier.  I’m sure he saw me walk by his desk and he figured I was going to the copier so he printed something off.  He came up behind me and said ”What’s new?”  At first I said “Nothing.” but then I said “Actually, lots of things.”

Then I said “So have you been sailing?”  He said “No, I haven’t been much.”  I said “Why not?”  He said “It’s in Kingston.”  I said “You should bring it here or north.”  He said “Ya, maybe I will bring it here.”  Then I said “So are you hanging around at home?”  He said “I’ve been watching alot of TV.”  He said “What have you been doing?”  (He asked me again)  I didn’t’ know what to say becos I am certainly not doing too much lately.  So I said “I’ve been watching alot of movies.  Don’t ask me what kind.”  I wasn’t going to tell him I like watching romantic comedies or chick flicks.  LOL!

Now we are walking back to our desks and he said “Oh, I saw a good movie.  It was funny.  I can’t remember the name of it but when I do, I will let you know.”  I said “Since there isn’t any hockey.”  D said “Ya.” with a big smile on his face and he walked to his desk.  I hope he tells me the name of the movie.  I will rent it and then I will be able to talk to him about it.

I thought that was a very interesting conversation!  He hasn’t talked like that to me in a long time!  I was thrilled!  Then I just happened to look on our company calendar and I noticed he is on holidays all next week!  And I am off tomorrow.  Damn! 

I told this to our receptionist and she said that he is probably watching the Tour De France Bicycle race.  She said her husband has been glued to the TV watching it.  That would explain why he left early on Monday and why he let early yesterday and today!  She is probably right, that makes alot of sense.  I have a feeling that is why he took next week off becos it is on all next week.  I’m glad I talked to her, I feel alot better.  LOL!

A  (the young guy) came by to talk to me and I told him about our conversation.  He said “Are you guys going out for a drink?”  I said “No.”  That really surprised me!  I found out about D’s neighbor finally!  I asked A about it and he told me that it was the man that died.  He was a fireman.  So it could be a possibility that he is seeing his neighbor or he could like her.  But A thought I was way off my rocker on that one!  I don’t know why but I get that feeling that I could be right.  Especially since I heard him on the phone saying “You could throw it over the fence.”  It is driving me crazy!

I got to thinking after our conversation that D was fishing for something.  Maybe he was fishing to see if I was seeing anyone.  Because he asked me a couple of times what I was up too.  He hasn’t talked to me like that in a long time and he really caught me off guard.  He got me all flustered!  Why wouldn’t he tell me he is on holidays next week?  Why wouldn’t he tell me he was going sailing or staying at home watching the Tour de France.  He doesn’t know I am off tomorrow and I didn’t tell him I was having a colonoscopy done but no way was I going to tell him that!  LOL!  I don’t know, he just frustrates me but I thought it was an interesting conversation!  And I am on cloud 9! 

I will have sweet dreams tonight and I sure will be glad when tomorrow is over with.

There has been big changes going on at work!  Last night there was only a couple of us left in the office.  Just before I left my boss told me and another girl who was still there that our manager was “gone!”  We weren’t sure if she was fired or let go or what happened!  But we were in shock and very upset over this!!!  We didn’t expect this at all!

Our boss told us that there would be a big meeting tomorrow to annouce it.  I called my friend as soon as I got home to tell her the news and made her promise she wouldn’t tell anyone in the morning and she didn’t.  She was happy I called to tell her.  As she puts it “I love shit like this!”  LOL!  I know she would be mad at me if I didn’t call her.  LOL!

So this morning, it was business as usual.  I was waiting for the meeting to be called.  Finally it was.   We all made our way to the board room.  We heard the good news first and then the bad news.  The president said he let go our manager and her husband who is one of the VP’s!  I knew about our manager but not her husband!  It was such a big shock to us! 

After the meeting, things were pretty quiet.  Everybody was really upset.   We have been really swamped and I didn’t even get lunch again today!  We have so much work to do , we are so far behind.  Hopefully tomorrow we can catch up.

D has been quiet.  I haven’t had a Goodnight from him the past couple of days.  I went to the kitchen to get my lunch.  I have to pass by his office and I looked in and he wasn’t there.  I hadn’t seen him all afternoon.  V came by and I asked him where D was.  He didn’t know so he called him at home.  D said he wasn’t feeling well so he decided to go home.  I think he must be upset about our manager’s husband being let go becos they have known each other for years and worked alot together and are good friends.

V came by to tell me D wasn’t feeling well.  He said “So tomorrow when you see him you say…  I didn’t see you in the afternoon where were you?”  Hmmm, I have to think about that.  Maybe I can say that if I get up enough nerve.

After work, I picked up a few groceries.  I came home, got undressed and got all settled on the couch to watch my show.  I record General Hospital every day and I have been waiting since Friday to see this episode.  Does anyone watch General Hospital?  For some reason my DVR didn’t record my show.  I am so pissed off!  They better show it tomorrow or I will really be upset!

It’s late and I’m calling it a night.  I hope tomorrow is a better day!

My weekend was nice!  I went out to dinner with a friend on Friday night.  We usually go out for dinner every 2 or 3 months or so.  I hadn’t seen her since before I left for Florida so we had lot of catching up to do.  It was fun and we had a good time!

I was awakened by a terrible thunder storm Saturday morning.  It cleared up by lunch time.  I’m glad it rained, we needed it.  

J and I went to wallmart in the afternoon.  J has decided to buy an Ipod Touch and has been wanting one for months!  His friend works at the McDonalds there and they get a 10% discount card.  They get 10% off everything in the store.  His friend told him he could borrow his card and get 10% off his Ipod Touch!  So we met his friend and he gave his card to J.  J was happy becos it saved him just over $40.00!  It was nice of his friend to let him borrow his card!  We treated ourselves to McD’s for lunch.  I haven’t had McD’s for months and months so it was a nice treat for me.  J has been on cloud 9 all weekend and has been having alot of fun playing with it.  He absolutely loves it!

Later on I drove J to work and I went to rogers to rent a movie.  I wanted to rent The Notebook but it was out already.  Then I asked for One Fine Day and they didn’t have that one either.  So I ended up with The Last Word but it wasn’t really that good.  It was just ok.  I hate it when they don’t have the movies I really want.

This afternoon I didn’t really do too much.  The sun was out and I wanted to sit out.  So I put on my bathing suit and sat out for about an hour.  I also tidied up the house and I did two loads of laundry.  Mom came over and J cut the front and back lawn.  Mom has been working hard in my garden.  She has bought me a couple of plants and bushes.  It looks really nice!  We BBq’d hambergers and caeser salade and of course wine.  it was really good!

That has been my weekend!  I can’t believe how fast they go by.  Tomorrow is Monday.  Blech!  I hope it is a better week than last week.  I hope everyone had a good weekend! 

It feels like it has been a really long week.  Maybe becos we have been extremely busy at work becos we are down 3 girls.  We have barely even had a chance to have lunch really all week.   They let go two girls and one is on holidays.  I don’t see how they can let people go when we are so busy.  It just isn’t fair.  It should be a bit better next week though when one of the girls is back from holidays.  Sigh…

I watched Michael Jackson’s memorial service on Tuesday night and I admit I lost it at tne end when his daughter spoke of him.  What a brave little girl she is!  I feel so badly for his children.  This might be a terrible thing to say but it wouldn’t surprise me if his father paid his Dr.’s to drug him.  His father looks like very sleezy if you ask me.  I still can’t believe he is gone!  It was a beautiful service!

On the D note.  He has been pretty quiet but I he did say “See ya Pam” on his way out Monday and Tuesday night!  It really made my day!  He didn’t last night or tonight.  I am thinking of actually moving to a new desk.  If I move, I will be sitting right beside my friend.  It is also a better Spying position!  I wouldn’t have my back turned to D all the time.  I could see him coming and going when he walks by.  I’m sure he would say Goodnight every time and better yet stop by to talk to me.

I’m just not sure if I should move.  My friend really wants me to move beside her but I’m sure the girl I sit beside would probably be upset.  She drives me crazy most days and can be very annoying.  I could move tomorrow if I want.  Do you guys think I’m crazy moving just for D or what?  It would be nice to sit bside my friend though.

J is doing good.  He has been busy working alot this week.  He is really looking forward to going to a wrestling show at Cops Collisium tomorrow night with his friends.  They have been looking forward to this for months!  The boys are so excited!  Between working and going to this show, I haven’t seen him hardly all week.  I’m really glad he is having a good time!

Well, it’s late and I’m tired.  I’ll write more tomorrow night about what’s been going on.  I’m off to bed.

I got all my cleaning done that I wanted to today.  I vacuumed the stairs and the whole main floor.  It really needed it so I’m glad it’s done.  It is hard to vacumm as I have arthitis in both hips so I don’t do it as often as it should be done.  I did two loads of laundry, dusted and tidied up the house.  I was exhausted!  I wish I could afford a maid!  Sigh…

As soon as I finished Mom and my aunt arrived for dinner.  Mom BBq’d steaks and we had baked potatoe and caeser salade.  My aunt brought wine.  The steaks were delicious, everything was!  It was such a nice day so we sat outside on my back patio for awhile.  We had a nice visit.

I have one of those electric candles that you plug in.  You turn it on, it melts and gives off a nice scent.  My candle is vinalla.  I turned it on so the room smells all nice.  I have it on my telephone stand which is by the kitchen table.  When J got up from the table tonight he bumped into it and some of the liquid spilt all over my walls and on the telephone stand and on the carpet!  I was so mad but accidents do happen.  Grrrr!

We cleaned the walls off and the table but I don’t know how to clean the carpet.  My question is how do you get wax of carpet?  Does anyone know?  If you do please leave me a comment, I would really appreciate it!  So how was your weekend?

It’s finally the weekend!  I’m so glad the week is over with.  It has been a stressful week for me.  Monday, I know will also be a stressful day for me so I will be very glad when the day is over with.  After that, the rest of the week should go smoothly.

I had a good sleep in this morning.  I felt rested today.  Today J and I went to the mall.  J got a much needed hair cut, he feels and looks much better!  I wanted to get my bangs cut but my hair dresser was busy and she couldn’t fit me in.  I was kind of pissed off about it but I will try again next weekend.   

Later on in the afternoon I drove J to work and I went to Rogers to rent a movie.  I decided on Nights in Rodante with Richard Gere.  It is a very good movie and I really enjoyed it!  I know which movie I’m going to rent next week already.  I want to see One Fine Day.  It looks pretty good!  If you have any suggestions for good movies, please leave me a comment!  I’d really appreciated it!

When I got back from driving J to work.  I decided to take down one of J’s old pictures and put his Graduation picture up in it’s place.  I took the glass out and the old picture stuck to the glass.  I was upset the picture is now ruined but I can get another copy made of it.  I was trying to get the paper off the glass and I cut my thumb badly.  Ouch, it really hurt!  It was really bleeding and it took quite awhile to get it to stop.  Finally it did.  I put polysporin on it and a bandaide.  I hope it doesn’t get infected and take too long to heal.

Tomorrow is the usual cleaning day.  It is suppose to be another nice day tomorrow so I hope to sit out and get some sun.  My mother and my aunt are coming for a BBq.  We are going to bbq steaks and have salades.  I haven’t seen my aunt in awhile.  She broke her foot so she has to wear a boot for 4 – 6 weeks.  I’m looking forward to seeing her.

That’s my weekend.  I hope you are having a good weekend too!